![]() Turns any item, even your own shopping list, into a Page Six audio blind item. The sun got in your eyes! The car broke down! You couldn't help yourself! You're an addict! $11.99.īy taking the name of your first sports hero, your favorite writer, the street where you grew up or the name of your first pet, adding and then repeating them, this little algorithm combines your Cabaret Drag Name with your United Nations Secretary-General Name. Choose from the Spitzer, the Madoff, the Ensign, the Haggard, or scores of others. Out too late with no explanation? This app automatically dials home with a proven excuse. $9.99.Īlerts New York Jets coach Rex Ryan to nearby hot fudge. This sophisticated detection device uses any smartphone's accelerometer to warn likely NFL draft picks of dangerous levels of Deion Sanders nearby. You won't go hungry with our 5.25 percent, 36-month hot dog re-fi! Ask about our nacho mortgages, or our hot pretzel retirement plans, too! Free. Offers instant financing to anyone standing in line at the Yankee Stadium food court. Locks smartphone and backs up all sim-card data so device can be safely thrown from grandstands at umpire's head, then later retrieved from stadium security. Amaze your friends! Accuracy guaranteed never to top 50 percent. A tall man enters.)Īuthentic sports predictions generated at random, just the way the television and radio pregame shows do it. Exeunt bearing away the dead, after which a peal of ordnance. For example:įortinbras: "Go, bid the soldiers shoot." The applet that lets the user update any work of literature online by inserting former NBA star Reggie Theus into the closing moments of the final scene. Example: "The standard American living room is 1 Sabathia in volume." $0.99. Uses your smartphone to calculate any cubic measure of volume by estimating the number of cc's in comparison to the uniform trousers of the Yankees pitcher. "How'd it feel to win today, Coach? Good?" Free. $189.99.Īsks and then answers its own ridiculous rhetorical questions. Includes high-quality rubber band and one (1) hundred-dollar bill. By wrapping the user's phone with a few singles and a lone Benjamin, the outward look of a great horse-choking roll of cash is created. Like its famous namesake, this app grants any smartphone user the appearance of wealth without requiring actual wealth itself. Provides simultaneous translation of Scottish broadcaster calling Italian soccer back into American English. $26.99.Īutomatically calculates then splits the difference between the political positions of Michael Moore, Glenn Beck, Michele Bachmann and Che Guevara. "_ and _ were seen _ in the _!" Watch your page views soar! A must for bloggers. Randomly generates nouns, verbs and proper names in scandal form. This app keeps a pre-Olympic running tally of police helicopters shot down in Brazil by 12-year-old drug mules with Kalashnikovs. Ah, the good old days! Remembrance is priceless! $36.99. Mawkish automatic reminiscence engine channels old sports memories through golden or sepia filter. Handy when traveling in western Pennsylvania. ![]() Free.Īutomatically dials Jeff Reed's bail bondsman. Randomly inserts the nonsense fragment "You wanna Yoohoo?" every fourth sentence so as to make meaning for New Yorkers. ![]() Handy for Phillies fans during World Series. Randomly inserts the nonsense fragment "yo" every 8.7 words so as to make meaning for Philadelphians. Handy for Yankees fans during World Series. Receive all-Arkansas sports updates 24/7. ![]() Uses the postmodern wizardry of your smartphone's internal logic circuits to predict the sequence of jinxes, injuries, losses, disappointments, heartbreaks and setbacks that will beset Blake Griffin's career with the Los Angeles Clippers. AP Photo/Sergey PonomarevThese apps would be great additions to your iPhone.Īdds a condescending coda to any spoken sentence, just like small-market football coach Bobby Hauck: "I like it when you treat your elders like that." Can also be reprogrammed to say, "I apologize to everyone everywhere for my witless, sophomoric behavior.
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